How to Hide a Criminal
by HiILikePie1937462
Summary: Jellal is a criminal and Erza is a guild mage. When something happens to Jellal, a certain re-equip mage is forced into a position she didn't ask for. Join a red head and blue head in an epic tale of baths, cross dressing and awkward moments. Even with all of that, how the hell do you hide a criminal? This collaboration is between HiILikePie1937462 and TheDragoNSlayeRnATSU Nin-Nin
1. Chapter 1: Discovery

**Chapter 1: Discovery**

"Flame brain!"

"Ice Princess!"

"Idiot!"

"Bastard!"

"Squinty Eyes!"

"Droopy Eyes!"

A certain fire mage as well as a ice mage were butting heads... as usual. The two had electricity running in between their eyes. A sword wouldn't be able to cut the rising tension. Speaking of swords..

"Are you two arguing?" A scary voice called out. The person whom the voice belonged to towered above the two arguing mages. Her power seeped from her voice, you could just tell she had bested many opponents as everything her aura to her red hair exuded unimaginable power.

"N-No! Just t-two best friends getting along like u-usual!" Answered the one with the raven hair.

"A-Aye!" The other one agreed.

"Looks like it's the return of Happy #2 and Happy #3." Sighed a blonde, mentally sweat dropping an the pair's antics.

"Natsu! Gray! Stop copying me!" An angry blue cat yelled, obviously miffed that his partner and his partner's rival were copying his so called 'style'.

"How about we all get along" The redhead to the name of Erza said eerily, the two mages who had been arguing intensely a few minutes earlier nodded furiously to her statement.

"Hey can we go on another mission tomorrow? I still don't have enough money and my rent is due next week!" Complained the celestial spirit mage, Lucy.

"Well the reward was one million jewels. You should have enough rent for a few months at the least!" Consoled Gray. Lucy sighed at the response.

"It might have been if you and Natsu hadn't destroyed HALF OF THE CITY!" Lucy screamed loudly, earning the glares of a few people who were walking on the same trail as the problematic group.

"Geez Luce calm down. You're so weird" Natsu admonished while rolling his eyes. An angry tick mark appeared over the blonde mages' head. Her foot soon connected with his face. Suddenly multiple swords appeared. They floated in the air over the angry girl and the idiot boy.

"WHAT DID I _JUST_ SAY?" The redhead screamed, threatening her closest friends with her intimidating swords. The two began sprinting as if in a race, fearing the wrath of one of their strongest friends. Gray started after the two with Happy hanging onto his shirt begging him to stop. Erza sighed, blew her red hair out of her face and ran after the silly group.

With their giant guild in sight, the team sped up their mini-marathon. When they finally reached their destination they were all huffing and puffing. Natsu leaned on the guild doors opened and the pink-haired dragon slayer fell face-first onto the unforgiving gained him a few giggles and chuckles from his guildmates.

"Wow Salamander, your grand entrances are becoming less and less.. _grand._ Gihi" Gajeel commented, while chuckling darkly to himself.

"Oi! Metal head! I don't see you entering grandly!" He fired back, intending to start a fight.

"WHO YOU CALLIN' METAL HEAD!" He shot back, "YOU'RE SUCH AN AS-" The metal dragon slayer was cut off as a light blue haired girl tugged on his arm with pleading eyes. He attempted to shake her off, it was in vain as she wasn't letting go anytime soon.

"Please stop fighting Gajeel" The bookworm begged. She wrapped her arms around the punk-like man in order to get him calmed down.

"Shrimp, stay out of this" Gajeel tried to sound demeaning and rude but his face was betraying his, portraying a small hint of red at the closeness.

"For the last time," started a pissed of Erza, " WOULD EVERYONE JUST STOP FIGHTING!" she finished, storming off to her dormitory, knowing that her efforts were useless. _Why does everyone have to fight all the time! It's so frustrating! Can't there just be one day where everyone just gets along and doesn't fight? Well I guess that would make things just boring here at Fairy Tail. That's all we do. Talk, drink, and fight. _She thought.

Erza went to the left of her beloved yet idiot guild and headed towards the living quarters for those whom are a part of Fairy Tail. Fairy Hills. _What is it with Fairies? Do Fairies even have Tails? I wonder... I've never seen a fairy before. _The redhead thought.

She tripped on a rock, breaking her thoughts. Erza caught herself before she could hit the ground, she found something very interesting on the dirt. There was a puddle of a red liquid. She thought that the mystery substance smelled familiar, like she had smelt it a million times before yet she just couldn't place her finger on it.

The redhead figured it wasn't important at the moment so she continued on her way to her apartment building. She whistled as she walked casually into the apartment and made her way up to her room. Erza inserted her key into her lock only to find that it was already unlocked.

She walked through her three rooms which were filled with different suits of armor and cheerfully made her way towards the kitchen. Her armor always caused a happy reaction in her for it reminded her of the soothing feeling when she was in her armor. While cooking a simple ramen she began humming a song she had heard during their mission. She didn't want anyone to know but she actually liked the song.

It spelled out her life in big bold letters.. She started singing out loud. The redhead sat down and started to eat her ramen. When she finished, she washed the bowl and headed to her room so she could rest after a long day of threatening the arguing idiots

Erza sung softly. She turned the knob to her bedroom and walked inside. Flipping on the lights she noticed that there was a lump in her bed. Curious as to what it was, the sword master walked over and pulled the covers back.

She gasped. Erza found a blue-haired man with a tattoo over his left eye in her bed. Now this may already be out of the ordinary but what really shocked her is that he was completely covered in bruises and gashes that were bleeding profusely.

* * *

**Well hi there.. I'm Pie.. I'm here with my friend, Nin-Nin, Two words.. GO JERZA! XD We need more well-written non-AU Jerza stories and thus How to Hide a Criminal was born! :) Thats all I wanted to say.. so for me.. Peace out Peeps! **

**This is Nin-Nin! Hoped you enjoyed! Review and crap! :P Duces!**


	2. Chapter 2: Bathtime

_**Previously on How to Hide a Criminal...**_

_Erza found a blue-haired man with a tattoo over his left eye in her bed. Now this may already be out of the ordinary but what really shocked her is that he was completely covered in bruises and gashes that were bleeding profusely._

* * *

**Chapter 2: Bathtime**

Erza was at a loss for words. She stared at the former wizard saint lying on her bed. It was hard to ignore that sweaty, gorey, near death smell he was emitting. His usual forget-me-not azure hair, was now caked with dry crusty mud resulting in a grayish appearance. He was also covered in bruises, cuts, and scrapes. Erza was taken aback by his current state. She couldn't make herself be mad at him. She fully examined his body discovering that there was a giant gash in his leg. Erza then noticed his blood stained bandages, drenched in a vexatious shade of bloods signature reddish-brown hue. _He must've been in a tough battle or something. He's in pretty bad condition. _She thought, beginning to closely examine the unexpected surprise that was left in her bed.

She ran her thin fingers across his dirty forehead feeling a major bump. The requip mage began to rub it, hoping that it would reduce it. Then seeing that he began to stir in his sleep even whimpering uncharacteristically, the redhead quickly stopped. _It must hurt. _She sadly sighed, combing out his tangled, messy blue locks with her hands, removing the grime, bugs, and rock shards.

_Why is he even here? More importantly what is he doing so injured. _Before Erza could ponder the thought anymore she caught a white slip of paper in the corner of her eye. _Huh? What's this? A note?_ The re-equip mage let curiosity take over and picked up the paper. It read:

_Dear Erza,_

_We need you to babysit Jellal for a while. Please take care of him. Try to keep him hidden._

_~Your friend, Ultear Milkovich!_

_P.S. : It would be nice if he came back alive!_

"ULTEAR!" She yelled, pissed off at the time-ark mage's letter. "When you come back, I swear..." she trailed, crumpling the note. The angered red-haired mage summoned a sword and sliced the offending paper then tossed it in the trash. She stared back at her unexpected visitor, whose eyes were now cracking open.

They stared at each other for a few moments. An awkward silence had fallen over the room.

"E-Erza." He managed to barely whisper, with a raspy, scratchy voice. "Why am I her-" Jellal's voice broke off before he fell unconscious once more.

"Jellal," She said rubbing dirt off his cheek. She stared at him a few seconds more."You're dirty. Let's get you washed up!" She exclaimed, beginning to hoist the man over her shoulder. It took a few minutes due to his unbearable weight.

"Jeez Jellal what have you been eating..." She quickly rushed to the bathroom before her shoulders gave out.

"Now let's get you out of these clothes, err, I don't think they can be considered as clothes anymore." She stated, voicing her thoughts on the remains of what used to be his clothes. Erza pulled his dirty and tattered shirt over his head, chucking the offending material into the trash. She began to remove the tatters of cloth from his body, making her way down his body. Soon all that remained was his boxers. She felt the heat rise to her face. _Come on Erza! You can do this! It's not like you haven't seen one before. It'll be just like the times you bathed with Natsu and Gray. Except it's Jellal! Still you got this. _

Erza's mental pep talk didn't help much though. She found herself reaching then drawing her hands back from his waist. _Why does it feel so wrong? Why can't I take off his boxers? I've got to do this for the sake of Jellal! I've got to stop being selfish. _ _1._ She reached for the boxers. _2. _She tightly grasped the elastic waistband. _3. _She yanked them down, quickly looking away.

With the utmost speed the redhead found a fresh pair of boxers and put it on him without a second glance. She sighed with relief, the hard part was done. Erza walked up to the her small bathtub and turned the knob in order to get the water flowing. Once the bathtub was filled she dipped her thin fingers to test the water. Finding it to her expectations she stopped the gushing water.

The requip mage threw the blue-haired mage over her shoulder, staggering a bit from his weight. She slowly but surely made her way towards the filled bathtub. When she got there she gently laid Jellal into the room-temperature water. Once she was sure that he was comfortable, she grabbed a clean towel. Erza wet the towel and furiously rubbed a bar of soap onto it. Eventually the towel was lathered. Satisfied with the towel she began slowly cleaning his chest, trying her best to avoid his wounds.

As the redhead finished cleansing the young male wizard, he began moving uncomfortably and his eyes opened slightly. Then seeing who it was, he quickly tensed and his eyes were wide open in shock.

"E-Erza?" He repeated the same thing he first said, "Where am I, What are you doing here?" Jellal then looked at his surroundings, "And why am I in a... bathtub?"

" you see, what had happened was, Ultear dropped you off. She wants me to babysit you? Er..." She answered rubbing soap in his blue locks.

"Hmm. Strange. I don't remember being badly injured. And that still doesn't explain the tub?" He said confusedly, glancing around the bathroom.

"Well you were dirty and I just wanted to make you clean and give you new bandages. Isn't that what babysitting is? Taking care of someone? Right?"

"Yeah, I guess." Replied Jellal. He gazed at the girl who was still cleaning muck out of his hair, _as badly as I'm beaten up, I'm sorta glad I'm here with her.. ugh what am I saying, she walks in the light and I in the darkness. The Light and Dark don't mix..._

* * *

**Nin-Nin:Ha ha! Erza! Ever so awkard moment. Gotta love Jerza! REVIEW! We'll give you virtual cookies. Our reviewers are appreciated and make us smile! **

**Pie: There we go... Awkward scene over! Jerza Jerza Jerza... Come to the dark side... we have virtual cookies! Well thats it.. *Salute* Peace out peeps!**


	3. Chapter 3: An Unexpected Visitor

_**Previously on How to Hide a Criminal...**_

_He gazed at the girl who was still cleaning muck out of his hair, as badly as I'm beaten up, I'm sorta glad I'm here with her.. ugh what am I saying, she walks in the light and I in the darkness. The Light and Dark don't mix..._

* * *

**Chapter 3: An Unexpected Visitor**

"Jellal? Would you like more yakisoba?" Erza asked holding up a bowl of steamy, fresh, yakisoba.

"Uh, I'll pass. But your yakisoba is like no one else's. Can I get your recipe?" He asked, attempting to break the awkward atmosphere...

"Sure?" The redhead replied, unsure whether the aura just got weirder. What was she supposed to say? _Oh hey Jellal! Long time no see! Last time I saw you we almost kissed! How's your fake fiance doing?_ No that would just make this situation ten times worse than it already is.

"Listen, Erza. I'm sorry." The blue haired mage started, regret lacing his voice.

"Sorry?" Erza eyes widened and she was taken off guard by his statement. _What could he possibly be sorry for? _

"Sorry for trying to kiss you. I didn't mean it, I just..." His voice trailed off. Erza stared into his lost eyes, sensing the pain of his former mistakes.

"O-Oh. It's fine" The re-equip mage affirmed. She felt a twist in the pit of her stomach. It wasn't something she liked, it was a weird feeling almost like... sadness.

"You must be tired" Erza stated, "Maybe you should go sleep..." She trailed off. Jellal nodded and started walking toward her bedroom. When he finally left, she sighed. It seemed with him around the aura in the apartment would never go down, wherever he went it looks like the tense air followed him.

The redhead got up and made her way toward her bedroom after Jellal. She sat down next to the blue blob, soon enough light snores were heard. Erza smiled softly, quickly she realized what she was doing and wiped the smile off her face. She shook her head a few times in attempt to set it straight.

_Bing. _Erza froze, she sat rooted to her spot. _Knock. _

"Erza?" _Creak. _The door was pushed open and a lighter blue blur popped through the door. _Crap! Just my luck. JELLAL! _In a speedy noticeable manner there was a thick red blanket over the poor sleeping mage. Levy stared at her friend with confusion dancing across her face.

"Hi Levy! W-What brings you here at such late hours?" Erza was sweating bullets unbeknownst to the solid-script mage.

"Erza, it's only 9:00 PM." She stated mentally sweat dropping. "Anyway, I just came to take back those books you borrowed that you said you were done with."

"Oh, yes, th-the books!" The redhead stammered, sweating profusely.

"Uh Erza?" Levy prompted, "Are you okay? You're stuttering" The bluenette pointed out, worriedly.

"Feeling peachy!" She squeaked stealing a few glances at the lumpy bundle of mahogany blankets laying on her bed. Levy looked in the directed that Erza was glancing and noticed the barely noticeable lump under a giant blood red blanket.

She pointed to the blanket, "Is there a person under there? Or am I just imagining things?" The petite blunette asked, rubbing her eyes.

"You seem tired. Here are you books." She started grabbing the books from nowhere. "Gee it's getting late! It was nice of you to visit. You should probably get going. See ya tomorrow!" She said quickly trying to push Levy out the door.

"Erza" Levy said softly, "Are you drunk?" Erza's eyes widened at that question, she shaked her head furiously.

"Are you sure? You only get this flustered when you're drunk... or you're in love..." Levy trailed off as she began thinking. "ERZA, YOU'RE IN LOVE!" She practically screamed.

"I-Impossible! There are definitely _not _any guys in this building, or in this room, or under that red blanket, and I am definitely _not _gay. Good day, Levy." She huffed slamming the door in her face. _In love huh? Not me. _

"ERZA! I KNOW THE TRUTH!" Levy stopped yelling for a moment, "Um Erza" She knocked on the door lightly, "These aren't the right books..." The solid-script mage trailed off.

"Come back tomorrow! I'm sleepy." Erza yelled attempting to fake yawn and locking her door.

"Solid Script: Unlock!" The word unlock appeared in the air, after glowing slightly, the door unlocked. Levy pounced on the door, causing it to open, she strode inside. The bluette covered her mouth with her hands, in attempt to choke back her gasp.

"J-Jellal? I-Isn't he a criminal?" Levy didn't know what to think of this scene. Erza was sitting next to the blue-haired sleeping figure.

"Shit. I wasn't supposed to let anyone find him. Damn it!" Erza cursed herself, getting up and punching a wall.

"What's going on here, Erza?" Levy asked still focused on the blue haired criminal.

"Well I guess I could tell you but you can't tell anyone else. Have a seat. I'll make you some tea." Said Erza, heading off to her kitchen. She filled up a kettle with water and set it on her burner. After the water boiled she poured the hot water in two cups. She then placed tea bags in each of the cups. She then brought the tea cups and some sugar and cream as well to the couch.

Erza began telling the tale of the former wizard saint. When she finished, Levy had everything about Erza figured out. Even though she figured most of it out she only had one question, "How do you hide a criminal?"

* * *

**Pie: Heya! Heres the third installment of How to Hide a Criminal! Obviously... Well um, LEVY IS MY FAVORITE CHARACTER! Lucy is second xD Bookworms are just so awesome! And she has a pretty awesome magic! Lucy is awesome too! She writes books so I approve as well! If I continue this, it will turn into a rant about how awesome bookworms are! So...  
Peace out Peeps!**

**Nin-Nin: Unlike Pie over there My favorite is Jellal. Why? Because so friggin' cute! Just like Zeref, (Hijacked by Pie: BOO ZEREF) who is also cute. But my second fav is Natsu (Hence the name ****T****heDragoNSlayeRnATSU Nin-Nin) cuz he's also cute! Doesn't he have just the cutest little face? And he just so stupid which also makes him cute. Awwwwwwwwwwwww. So many cute wittle boys in FT! I could fawn over all of them all day (Except for Lyon cuz he's so uggs! I mean seriously! He has the ugliest squintiest eyes! Ugh! Disgusting!) Anyways! WEEEVIEWWWW! (We'll send you virtual Jerza figurines!) **


	4. Chapter 4: Jellia's Watery Predicament

_**Disclaimer: We don't own Fairy Tail... **_

* * *

_**Previously on How to Hide a Criminal...**_

_Erza began telling the tale of the former wizard saint. When she finished, Levy had everything about Erza figured out. Even though she figured most of it out she only had one question, "How do you hide a criminal?"_

* * *

**Chapter 4:Jellia's Watery Predicament  
**

Silence proceeded. _Thats a good question _She thought.

_Bang. _

"Ow" Someone croaked

_Creak. Clatter. Creak. _

"E-Erza?" A deep throaty voice called out in confusion. "Where are you?"

"I'm in the living room. Come here." Erza replied. He walked in to see Erza and this blue haired chick he had never seen before.

"Ummmm, Erza? Who is she?" He asked staring at the girl sitting on the couch next to his childhood friend.

"Oh I'm Levy! One of Erza's friends from Fairy Tail! Nice to meet you Jellal! I've heard a lot about you!" She greeted holding out her hand to shake. The former wizard saint reached out and accepted her hand.

"I'm gonna help Erza hide you." She said smiling sweetly.

"You guys do know that if I get caught, so will you. So you guys don't have to help me. I don't want you to get in trouble."

"Like I give a shit. Jellal you're Erza's friend. Any friend of Erza's, is a friend of mine! Of course I'll help you! That's what friends do right?"

"But I'm a monster! I ruined your life!" Jellal reminisced with a soft sad look on his face. But Erza just just slapped those tears right off of his face, leaving behind a red palm mark on his face.

"Look here. Thought I told you this before, or do you want a repeat performance? If you never ruined my life then I wouldn't have found Fairy Tail. So don't you talk like you're a bad guy. You're not. You're actually the nicest guy I've ever met. You were being controlled so it's not your fault. Even if! You will sit here and let us hide you and If you go down, we will go down with you because we are your friends!"

"Yeah!" Levy agreed

"Imhgy..." Jellal mumbled under his breath.

"Speak up!" Erza commanded.

"I'm hungry!" he practically shouted. Levy and Erza ceased talking for a moment then burst into laughter. Once the girl's laughing session died down they both were panting and gasping for the needed oxygen.

When Erza had regained her breath she told Jellal, "I'll go shopping today and get some food" He shook his head no in response to that statement.

"I-I'll come with you"

"Thats not a go-" Levy cut Erza off mid sentence.

"Thats a great idea! But Jellal..." She trailed off with a sinister twinkle in her eyes, "Erza, time to get in touch with your inner child!"

* * *

_**20 minutes later...**_

The former slaves were now in a shopping plaza being dragged around by their psycho petite bookworm of a friend.

"Where are we going?" Jellal asked.

"Virtual Super Fairy Princesses Depot! Where else?" Levy exclaimed smirking evilly to herself

"WHAAAT! Why there?"

"Where else can Erza and I sip on virtual tea while you get a virtual super fairy princess makeover?" Levy said giggling at Jellal's quickly changing comical facial expressions.

"No way! I don't want to be turned into a virtual super fairy princesses!" The blue haired mage dug his heels into the ground in protest.. He turned into a chibi and clung onto Erza's shirt.

"Er-chan..." He pouted uncharacteristically. Erza's eyes widened at the sudden personality change. She never saw this in him before... The redhead grinned evilly, grabbed him by the hair and started dragging the whining mage into the dreaded store...

* * *

_**10 minutes later...**_

"OOH! Try this one and this one" Levy yelled piling dress after dress onto the blue haired wizards arms. She gave him a blond wig, a lacy black bra, and two water balloons already full of water.

"Now go change Jellia!" Erza prodded him with the butt of a sword into the dressing room. He regrettably walked into the dressing room.

* * *

_**30 minutes later...**_

"Jellia! You're taking forever! Come out already!" Levy exclaimed

"It's embarrassing..." He called out from the dressing room.

"But you're gonna look fabulous!" Erza sang.

Jellal walked out of the dressing room. Erza and Levy's jaws literally hit the floor. The blonde wig he was wearing has swept aside side bangs and it reached down to his chest. He has light blue contacts in his eyes. His outfit was a long ruffled pink dress that kissed the floor. Sleeves down to his wrists. His chest was pumped out thanks to the waterballoons being held by the giant bra. Lastly he was wearing light pink wedges.

"Daymn! Look out world! Here comes Fiore's next model!" Levy barely choked out, attempting to hold back her laughter.

* * *

**Nin-Nin: Welcome to the dark side Jellia. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! We have jiggly thingys on our chest! XD! BWAHAHAHAHA! Man how could you not crack up after reading that? Man. I love a good laugh. But not as much as an encouraging review. So WWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIEW! NYA! This time we'll send you limited edition Jerza T-Shirts for free with a small fee of 1,000,000,000 jewel plus shipping and handling! (What a steal!) No refunds. Bye bye!**

**Pie: HIIIIIIII! CROSS DRESSING JELLAL HAHAHAHAHA! Oh my gosh so funny... He could be front cover Sorcerer's weekly! XD Oh Erza... You got a good one... Here is where the hiding a criminal part comes in! XD Lets be honest, everyone imagined Jellal in a pink dress at some point! I was going to make it melons not water balloons... but water balloons work better! Hehe! **

**Ah Levy you know exactly what he should change into... You are so smart! LEVVVVYYYY! BOOKWORMS UNITE! HELP THE MALE POPULATION CROSS DRESS! Oh and... Review! . Come to the weird side... we have virtual popsicles! *Beckons with finger* Hmm? You aren't coming? WHY!? WAAAAAAH! *Pouts* Please? I'm lonely over here!**

**Peace out peeps!**


	5. Chapter 5: Hell's Playground? Hell Yes

_**Previously on How to Hide a Criminal...**_

_Jellal walked out of the dressing room. Erza and Levy's jaws literally hit the floor. The blonde wig he was wearing has swept aside side bangs and it reached down to his chest. He has light blue contacts in his eyes. His outfit was a long ruffled pink dress that kissed the floor. Sleeves down to his wrists. His chest was pumped out thanks to the waterballoons being held by the giant bra. Lastly he was wearing light pink wedges._

"_Daymn! Look out world! Here comes Fiore's next model!" Levy barely choked out, attempting to hold back her laughter._

* * *

**Chapter 5: Hell's Playground? Hell Yes**

"Are we done yet?" Jellal pouted, readjusting the balloons on his chest. "I don't like these!"

"Jellal would you just shut up and act like a man, er, woman! We're almost done. Just one more stop!" Erza scolded.

"What! Where else could we possibly go?"He whined.

"Oh just Maybel's Marvelous Maternal Make up!" Levy said trying to hold back her laughter.

"DO I EVEN LOOK LIKE A MOM?"

"Whoa Jellia, so unladylike." Levy admonished, failing to choke back her giggles any longer.

"I swear when this all blows over, I WILL PERSONALLY SEND YOU TWO TO YOU'RE DEATHBEDS!" Jellal screamed, crossing his arms.

"Well, before that you're gonna have to learn how to put on lipstick." Erza declared dragging him into the "malevolent" make up store.

"Where should we start? Lipstick, mascara, foundation? Oh decisions decisions!" Levy listed.

"Hm lets see why don't we start at the exit?"

"Lipstick it is!" Erza decided dragging the poor crossdressed blunette to explore the lipstick selection.

"Hmm how 'bout cherry number 5? It compliments your eyes!" Levy asked picking up the first one she saw.

"I thought we were gonna give him colored contacts?" Erza confusedly said.

"Ughh. This is going to be a loooooooooooooooooong stop." Jellal sighed as he was pulled to the colored contacts section.

* * *

_**1 looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong hour later...**_

"So we're going with cherry number 5 after all! Do we have everything Erza?"

"Let's see. We've go the foundation, concealer, blush, nail polish, eyeliner, lipstick, bronzor, contacts, mascara, and oh we forgot the eye shadow!"

"Oh no eye shadow! How ever will I cope without colored powder over my eyes?" Jellal faked in a girly voice.

"That's the spirit Jellia!" Erza complemented, not knowing that her childhood friend was only being sarcastic.

"What shade do you want Jellia-Chan? What do you think of shady shamrock? " Erza asked.

"You know I'm not good at fashion but the cherry charge up obviously matches the pink of my dress the best! God!" Jellal snapped.

"It's a miracle! Jellia! Welcome to the world of womanhood!"Levy exclaimed spilling tears and hugging Jellal.

"Didn't Wendy join your guild?"Jellal asked out of the blue.

"What does that have to do with anything?" Erza questioned, confused on the mention of the sky dragon slayer.

"She has heightened senses and she knows what I smell like. Well, so do Natsu, Laxus, and Gajeel."

"Hmm. Let's get you some perfume then!" Levy compromised.

"How about Strawberry Silk? or Watermelon Wind? Theres Apple Air!" Erza offered the choices. "Use Apple Air! I love apples!"

"Apple Air it is!" Levy exclaimed, while grabbing a green apple shaped bottle.

"I think we're done here" As Erza uttered those words, Jellal's eyes grew wide and he shouted in joy. "Lets go pay" When she said that, the bluenette looked over to the payout line. It had around thirty people waiting to pay, he groaned. _Its not over yet..._ he thought.

He looked to the register. The cashier was chatting with a customer.

"Before I tried peach paradise he wouldn't even take a glance at me. After he was all over me!"

"Oh really? Let me go grab some real quick then!" The customer said, waddling off. A round of groans was heard throughout the line.

* * *

_**1 hour later...**_

"I can't believe we were in that line for an hour!" Jellal complained as the three 'girls' walked out of the store.

"Ah stop complaining Jellia! We can go get your food now!" Levy consoled.

"Oh yeah I forgot the whole reason we were dressing him up" The re-equip mage mused. Jellal sweatdropped. "Well lets go get some food!" The threesome strode to the food stall. Jellal began drooling a bit.

"Jellia! Act more lady-like!" Levy scolded wiping the offending substance of his face. "So Jellia, what do you want to eat?" The previously playfully aura turned into a tense silence.

A tick mark grew on Erza's head, "So you let us strip away your manliness and force you into girly clothes just to hide your identity so you could come shopping with me for food... AND YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT!?" The red head screeched.

Jellal scratched his head nervously, he couldn't tell them the real reason he wanted to go! _I swore I can't... _The former wizard saint thought.

"Fine Fine! I'll take some strawberry pancakes!" Levy blinked. Erza blinked.

"Strawberry..." Erza started.

"Pancakes?" Levy finished. Silence preceded their words. Suddenly the silence shattered and a loud chorus of laughter could be heard for miles. Jellal rolled his eyes as the two girls struggled to breathe through their laughter.

"It's not that fu-" The blue haired mage was cut off as another round of chuckles were exchanged at his expense. He crossed his arms over the water balloons and tapped his foot impatiently, waiting for the humor to wear off.

"St-rawbe-rry haha" Erza choked out between laughs. Gradually the laughter subsided and the trio paid for five Strawberry Pancakes, promptly leaving the mall with the occasional burst of laughter coming from either of the two girls.

* * *

**Pie: Elo! Chapter five is finished! Ah Strawberry Pancakes, sounds good... *Drools a bit* Uhhh *Wipes* Whatever! I wasn't doing anything! *Gets nervous* LEVY THE GIG IS UP! LETS BUST THIS JOINT! Ah Levy... you are so awesome! Ditch Shadow Gears and join Team Natsu with Lucy~~~~~ And Erza o.o Hey I have a quick question for the readers we have! How many of you listen to music while writing? I do! It helps me focus a lot! **

**Nin-Nin: Lol. You can never go wrong with cherry number five. And really peach paradise, that stuff really works! Don't you just love Maybel's Marvelous Maternal Make up? Yeah, haha, no. Jellia's right guys. Those lines are really killer. So I have a deal. Give one review, get the Jellia gift package. Cherry number five, peach paradise and all other items mentioned on tonights episode of **_**How to Hide a Criminal. **_**Until next time, Ja Ne and WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW!**


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